It's the weekend and Lisa is gone on a woman's retreat with her church. She invited me but Jonathan home alone all weekend with just the boys smells like trouble to me. My sister Nicole is over visiting my mom so she's with me at Jonathan's. Jonathan's youngest brother, Brett, is only a year or two older than my 14 year old sister. So when Jonathan gives Brett some Vodka I offer some to my sister out of the feeling of obligation. Even though I've been high since breakfast everything in me screams not to hand over the bottle. I, the real me, would NEVER do that to my little sister. My whole body sighs with relief when she refuses it. Then tenses it back up when Jonathan pressures her into it. She lets it hit her lips, scowls and hands the bottle back, asking everyone for gum or a mint. "She's not a G like you cricket eh?" She is me, I think to myself.
It's evening and we are running out of food. The day has been hilarious to say the least. Andrew is quite talkative when he is high. Brett is playing truth or dare with Jonathan and the stuff they are coming up with is hilarious. "Fuuuuccckkk!" Jonathan says staring at the cd player. He points to the display. "It's one five zero zero six o'clock! Dddaaayyyuuumm that's late! I've never stayed up that late!! Have you?" We all die laughing and explain to him that it's the total length of the cd not the time. Brett and Jonathan go down stairs to scrimmage for food and Andrew and I are still lying on the floor repeating "one five zero zero six o'clock" and laughing ourselves into a stupor again. Then I hear things falling downstairs and the boys shouting. I run out of the room to the top of the stairs and look down into the kitchen to see a big mess getting bigger. There are liters of soda strewn across the floor with their contents emptied onto the ground. Jonathan is pointing a can of cool whip towards his face and squeezes the tip. He completely misses his mouth and sprays the cabinet behind his head. He looks at it confused "Fuck! Everything is empty!!" "I know!!" Brett says after missing his mouth and pouring half the contents of an orange juice carton onto the floor. They switch the items they hold in their hands and try again to get the same results. I'm holding my sides from laughing so hard then I am falling down the stairs. Cart wheeling down. I scream. "What the hell!?" Andrew says from behind me. I'm confused. Everyone downstairs is laughing at me and I'm standing at the top step with Andrew and my sister. I realize the falling part was only in my head and start laughing too. Now Jonathan, Brett and myself are hysterical and Andrew and Nicole are confused.
Once the laughter ceases, which only got worse when we tried explaining to the other two what was going on, we order Chinese food. That's the last thing I remember before I passed out, eating Chinese food that tasted better than anything I had ever eaten and laughing at the insane mess of a house. The next thing I remember is hearing the door to in the kitchen that led into the garage open and seeing Lisa's face as she takes in the mess in the kitchen and all of us passed out in the living room....
*Originally written January 9th 2012
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