Before I met Jonathan, after I had convinced my mom to allow me to see my friends, I arranged to see Aaron. My 17th birthday was on a Saturday and we planned for me to take the train down on Friday and spend the night at my friend James' house like I did most times I came down. Aaron had gotten a car while I was away and told me of his plans to take me to a beach and some other surprises for my birthday. I was very excited at the thought of being able to pick up where we left off. To continue our plans of one day getting married and having a daughter named Renaye. The day I plan on taking the train I wake up early and clean my room. I find my mom in the kitchen and tell her I am ready for her to drive me to the station. She asks me if my room is clean and I say yes. She goes to check and comes out with a sock. She explains that it was on my floor. I apologize and motion to take it from her to put it away. She yanks back her hand and screams at me that I lied to her and therefore cannot go. She continues to scream at me about how my step-dad wants me gone...yada yada yada. She leaves the house. I know now no matter what I cannot make it out there. We live in a small city that doesn't run trains after 5:30 or on weekends. I am stuck out here. I text Aaron because I am so disappointed I could cry and I don't want him to hear it in my voice. It is early evening but I go to bed. I am woken up by my girl friend's at midnight conference calling me to sing happy birthday. I love them. I miss them. I cry myself back to sleep. I wake up the next day to a text from Aaron saying "Happy Birthday babe. I love you and miss you and will be thinking of you all day. You're in my heart Always and Forever" I text back a thank you and try to start a conversation. No response. I carry on throughout my day, my mom clearly avoiding me like the plague. Around noon I realize Aaron still hasn't text me back. I call him. No answer. I call again. He picks up on the first ring. "Yeah?" he answers like I'm annoying him. "I'm sorry were you bu..." I start but then I hear them, waves. "Are you at the beach?" "Let me call you back" he demands "Why?" I ask "Who is that?" I hear a girl ask in the background "I'll call you back" He says and hangs up. I go back to sleep. I keep my phone on silent. I don't care what he has to say. I wake up when the moon is high. No missed calls, just one text.."you mad?" He knows I heard her "How was your day?" I ask in my typical passive aggressive way. He calls me. I don't answer. He leaves a voicemail about how he spent money on all his plans for my birthday and he wasn't about to let it go to waste. How I was being selfish. This isn't the Aaron I know. Situations like this become the norm. Him avoiding my calls while he "secretly" went on dates. Inviting me to senior prom but then taking someone else. I tell him we should end things and just remain friends so as not to burn bridges. All my friends are his friends after all. He suddenly acts like he has an epiphany "I know what we should do Em's!" "What?" I ask reluctantly. "How about we are together when you come down to visit but we are single when you go home?" He says this as if it's a phenomenal idea. He says this as if I will jump onto this band wagon wholeheartedly. I resign to the idea that the person I loved no longer exists. I cut off all ties. I mourn him like he's died, because that is exactly how it feels. He has changed into a completely different person. I cannot find even a piece of my best friend anywhere within this new person. He has vanished into thin air and I miss him immensely. He is gone and I am abandoned once again.
*Originally written January 6th 2012
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